the 'facebook' quotes;

*me and charles walk into subway deciding what to eat & a random black guy in the queue turns to us*
"make sure she gives you kung fu sex!"
*me and charles look at each other.. w.. t.. f*
charles: "..she's not my girlfriend"
LOL

waz: "CAN YOU HANDLE A BIG BLACK BABY?!"
garhay: "haha again again!"
waz: "hmm OK.." *starts to unzip jeans*

waz: "i'm a big boy now!"
matt: "happy first wank"
*waz starts pretend wanking*
waz: "ee ee eee AAHH!!"

"i secretly want to bang her... well thats obvs not a secret anymore"

nic: "so i'm like wow was i just un-horny that day or something"

"fuuuuck! ..i mean.. a double cheeseburger and coke"

Vy: "mm.. mm.. mm.."

Vy: "i'm trying to deflesh this chicken... with my mind"

"GET NAKED..... please"

kwan: "daryl keep me safe!"
me: "daryl you keep sister safe yeah! cause you a brack man! you use condom!"
daryl: "i don't use a condom, i brack man! i use GARBAGE LINER!"

fahad: "she shot me in the head and i just knew it was love at first sight"

daryl: "can you shit... AND have a boner?"

daryl: "after the shower it's ok but generally it's like Eau de Resistant!"

"puck you!"

daryl: "when she knew she couldn't get off, she recruited.... ACID!"

kwan: "i will finger my bun when i want to!"

avina: "it's like i laid eggs!"

helen: "he's a chinese hunk. he's a CHUNK!"

daryl: "there's two girls... and a smile!"

andy: "for him parkour might be jumping from the pavement onto the road"

*jon holding a wine cooler* "it's not cold enough"
me: "put it in the refridgerator"
*jon puts it in the refridgerator"
me: "no wait that's the fridge!"

me: "did it hurt?"
other person: ".."
me: "WHEN YOU FELL OUT THAT TREE!"

*me mentioning size AAA cup*
ani: "IS THAT WHEN THEY GO INWARDS?!"

"your mom."

"chama chama chama chama chama chameeeeleeooonnn"

vicky: "what's the point in slugs? why are they so wet when it's not even raining?!"

random man in the subway: "lesbians feed at night! be back by sundown!" "she's a craazy vicious lesbian!"

*at the top of the empire state building*
kwan: "LOOK IT'S THE EIFFEL TOWER!"
she genuinely thought it was the eiffel tower..

mum: "still got the fish, chicken, noodles.."
me: "it's like a crash course in obesity.."

*receptionist talking about olympic ping pong*
man that sounds like the godfather: "next thing you know it's olympic DING DONG"

meesha: "..then you'd have a chinese, white, black and white baby!"

jon: "..chickenchihuahuamein"

*on MSN - talking about The Strangers*
garhay: "im too scard to wach da trailer... or even google it!"
me: "shall we watch it 2moro then!"
garhay: "COME THEN... NO BITCHFACE STRANGER CN SCARE ME"
me: "LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL... HAHAHA I LOVE YOU"
garhay: "love u tooo my baby ^^... BE BE!... BE BE!... SHUT UP GH"

*whilst watching the strangers*
[*BANG*]
garhay: "AHHH AHHH AHHH AHHH !"
ahahaha i will never forget that moment XD

someone mighty fine: "one day let's make friends with the boys.."

garhay: "then round 2! its onnnnnnn!"
lol if only you knew what we we're on about

vicky: "don't you think it's strange that we exchange these small engraved pieces of metal for goods?"

"i hope they get run over by a bus."

"hit them with their own shoe!"

"throw a brick at their face."

liv: "....vigirgin!...."

garhay: "she was blessed with big boobs!"

ang: "i was just like OMG you have been in the presence of someone who VIVIENNE WESTWOOD gave birth to"

jon: "i might add it to my list of achievements.... CLIMB THE TOKYO GUNDAM!"

*staring at gundam*
jon: "he is my God. my life is now complete!"

james: "my boxers are making my pubes itch."

"I've lost my crack!"

emma: "what's with dying people, they're so inconsiderate making so much noise!"

*at Taman Gaang, looking at the silver mirrored buddha"
tom: "lite Buddha, no carbs"

andy: "I'll poke you in the vagina!"

flo: "when i was young i used to think it was "AH AH AH AH STA-P-LER STA-P-LER" "

french: "knobbing hell.."

to flo: "SKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANK!!!!!"

daryl: "today children, we are going to learn about.. *in low scary voice..* MURDERRRR."

amy: "there's only 12 hours in a day!"

flo: "when i'm older i wanna be a builder!"
me: "what? so you can heckle at young girls?!"
flo: "COME JOIN THE PARTY IN MY PAAAANTS!"

flo talking to herself: "where shall we go for our honeymoon?" "I WANT TO GO TO BUTLINS!"

me: "i love you"
flo: "i hate you"
me: "you want me"
flo: "in my bed"

flo: "trains get fatter when there's more people."

nic: "febreeze for the body, SKIN BREEZE"

emma: "no way man. no way"

"NO WAY MAYNN. NO WAY"

"F*CK ME SIDEWAYS!"

"Up your arse, turn left."

tom: "you're too young to be talking about piss"

me: "you went from blue to black!"
daren: "omg. is this becoming a racial thing. LOL. jst cos im dark. they make my link black. WTF. im sueing."

daren: "FxCK YOUUU DOLPHIN"

nic: "YOU WILL DELIVER otherwise i will NOT be lovin' it"

me: "facial hair is sexy! ;)"
adil: "osama bin laden must be like the sexiest man you know"

rach: "ha no i'll be scared i'll get taken down by axe man!" (from Changeling) "i'm scared to pee!"

rach: "i need to pee!"

"seriously?"

"i know right"

"lol"

"TOOOO FUNNY"

"i like. is nice"

penis rash: "don't you hate it when there's a constant background noise and then it stops?"
bitch: "like when you jump out of a plane?!"

mum: "ultradryy.. extradryy..?"
kwan: "mummy do you mean superdry?!"
mum: "yeahh! ...my card is superdry ~__~"

"LOL that's going in my facebook quotes"

"bitch i don't train i just fuck!"

daryl: "i should find her, walk up to her, then burp...MELODICALLY!"

ami: "i hate bisexuals! they increase the competition in life!"

nic: "will you utada my hikaru?"

me: "i ain't seen bigger thrusts come out of that woman ever!"
andy: "it only leads to what would she be like in the bedroom???"

adam: " how is she a good dancer?! she's in a wheelchair."

me: "your blackberry case is so smooth!"
adam: "i sperm on it everyday"

me: "eat the one by my fanny"
adam: "ooh tastes like noodles"

ami: "can you have orange shit?!"

ami: "is your room pimped out?! wait ang, is it pumped or pimped?"

ang: "i know what ami's scared of.."
ami: "...what"
ang: "..MY BIG DICK"

ria: "you so sexy you like a PA-NI-NIIIII"

"LAME"

ang: "italians are hot, but you are not! ..hey that rhymed!"

ami: "my mother's a SKANK!"
ang: "you mean SKUNK!"

me: "watcha doooin"
ang: "wishing i was in your pants"

"NOMNOMNOM... all gone!"

ami: "it's like the tulip version of battle royale!"

me: "i don't know what to wear!" (to my ceramic design interview)
nic: "lol!! something that looks like u just came from using clay cuz u were making stuff?" "lol" "a dirty bib"